Power & Control Wheel

The Root of Abuse is Power and Control

Physical and sexual assults, or threats to commit them, are the most apparent forms of domestic violence and are usually the actions that allow others to become aware of the problem. However, regular use of other abusive behaviors, when reinforced by one or more acts of physical violence, make up a larger system of abuse. Although physical assualts may occur only once or occasionally, they instill threat of future violent attacks and allow the abuser to take control of the woman’s life and circumstances.

The Power & Control diagram is a particularly helpful tool in understanding the overall pattern of abusive and violent behaviors, which are used by a batterer to establish and maintain control over his partner. Very often, one or more violent incidents are accompanied by an array of these other types of abuse. They are less easily identified, yet firmly establish a pattern of intimidation and control in the relationship.

Intimidation

Making her afraid by using looks, actions and gestures
Smashing things
Destroying her property
Abusing pets
Displaying weapons

Emotional Abuse

Putting her down
Making her feel bad about herself
Calling her names
Making her think she’s crazy
Playing mind games
Humiliating her
Making her feel guilty

Isolation

Controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads, and where she goes.
Limiting her outside involvement
Using jealousy to justify actions

Minimizing, Denying & Blaming

Making light of the abuse and not taking her seriously
Saying the abuse didn’t happen
Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior
Saying she caused it

Using Children

Making her feel guilty about the children
Using the children to relay messages
Using visitation to harass her
Threatening to take the children away

Economic Abuse

Preventing her from getting or keeping a job
Making her ask for money
Giving her an allowance
Taking her money
Not letting her know about or have access to family income

Male Privilege

Treating her like a servant: making all the big decisions, acting like the “master of the castle,” being the one to define men’s and women’s roles.

Coercion & Threats

Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her
Threatening to leave her, commit suicide, or report her to welfare
Making her drop charges
Making her do illegal things