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Domestic & Sexual Violence Safety

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Your Personalized Safety Plan

A safety plan is a way for you to identify: your safe support systems, local resources, your legal and medical rights and options. It is also a tool for you to gauge daily actions that can enhance your physical and emotional safety should you find yourself in an abusive and dangerous situation. Your safety plan is unique, personal, and should evolve to accommodate your needs. Please remember: a safety plan does not prevent abuse–that is the responsibility of the person acting abusively.

Personalized Safety Plan:

Your safety is the priority. These are tips to help keep you safe and create a personal safety plan for your specific situation.

Important Numbers: Who Can I Call for Help?

Safe and Supportive Family, Friends, Coworkers:

In the Moment: Safety During an Abusive Incident

During a dangerous situation, our survival instincts take over and we react accordingly: fight, flight, or freeze. By practicing safety plans, you will commit them to memory, making them easier to recall quickly during dangerous situations. Here are several helpful practices to put into play regularly to give you additional resources in the event you find yourself in a threatening situation. 

  • Identify which rooms have easy or multiple exits. 
  • Avoid rooms that do not have an easy exit. For example, basements, bathrooms, etc. 
  • Practice leaving the house through all possible exits: front door, back door, first floor windows, etc.
  • Identify which rooms have items that can be used as a weapon against you: baseball bat, knives, firearms, other heavy objects
  • Keep your phone charged and know any shortcuts to calling for help such as having critical numbers on speed dial–your supportive people, the police & 911, Advocates  
  • Get in the habit of leaving your car keys and personal belongings near the exits, keep copies of personal belongings and keys at one or more houses of someone in your support network

When Leaving: Staying Safe while Preparing to Leave

Leaving is the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship because the abusive partner is losing power and control. If you are preparing to leave and are able to do so, we encourage connecting with us and a person in your support network to discuss your personal safety plan [Hyper link safety plan] to receive support on implementing your plan and reduce the risk to your safety and wellbeing. We recommend connecting with us or a safe & supportive person if you are preparing to leave so that a personalized safety plan can be discussed and created to reduce your risk. 

Your personal/physical safety as well as the safety of your family is a priority. It might not be possible to retrieve or gather items and possessions before you leave, and that is absolutely OK.  We can explore ways to retrieve or replace important documents like birth certificates, school records, IDs or driver’s license, etc. We can help connect you with resources and assistance to replace other material items. 

Here are some items to set aside to take with you if possible: 

  • Identification / Driver’s License/ Passport 
  • Birth certificate, Social Security cards for yourself & your children 
  • Cash & financial/bank information
  • House & car keys
  • Medications
  • Cell phone and charger
  • Valuables – photos, clothing, a child’s favorite toy/blanket, etc. 
  • Foodshare, W2 or other state aid documents 
  • Green card or work permits
  • Divorce, separation or paternity papers
  • Other: _____________________________________

Pets: Keeping Your Animals Safe

Pets are an important part of many families. We know their safety is an important priority to you and your family. We are ready to help assist you in making sure your pets are safe and cared for. Please contact us to explore our resources to find out what might be right for you and your loved one. 

Advocates has an affiliation with Safe Haven Program Safe Haven Program – Wisconsin Humane Society – Milwaukee Campus. This program offers safety to animals from families impacted by domestic abuse. This is a non-surrender program which offers 60 days of fostering while families seek safety from abuse. If Safe Haven is an ideal option for you and your situation, we will work with you on all the details of the placement process.

Stay Safe: Safety After Leaving

Leaving your abusive relationship can bring growth and healing. It may also bring challenges and continued safety concerns. As you move further away–emotionally and physically–from your abusive partner, it is important to continue safety planning. Some things that may help keep you safe include, but are not limited to:

  • Filing for a restraining order or other legal proceedings. Learn more
  • Seeking emotional support through support groups or one on one counseling. Learn about Counseling and Support Groups
  • Changing your social media privacy settings, deleting social media accounts and starting new ones, blocking users like your abuser or their family and friends. See Online and Tech Safety section
  • Changing your phone number or blocking your abuser’s number. See Online and Tech Safety section
  • Streamlining communication to only use one one technology for necessary communication with your abuser. Example: communication regarding your shared children will only happen via email or text so everything is documented. 
  • Noting any unusual contact or stalking behaviors from your abuser or their friends or family.
  • Changing your locks, changing your garage door or any home security codes etc..

Workpalce: Stay Safe in the Workplace

You may find your abuser engaging in behavior that impacts your ability to go to work or maintain employment. This is both an intentional effort to maintain control and a form of financial abuse. Some examples of abusive behaviors impacting your ability to work include:

  • Showing up to your work and threatening you and/or your coworkers
  • Showing up at your work in an effort to stalk you. This includes behavior such as sitting in your work parking lot; monitoring your comings and goings from work; or asking your coworkers for your work schedule or details of your location
  • Causing issues right before you have to go to work or deliberately causing you to be late  
  • Requiring that they drop you off or pick you up from work
  • Calling repeatedly during your working hours, either by your cell phone or on your work lines  

Some ways to enhance your safety while at work include:

  • Transportation to and from work:
    • Carpool with a coworker
    • Walk to and from the car with a safe person or security personnel 
    • Switch up your routine: take a different commuting route
  • Talk with HR or a safe supervisor about any safety precautions if your abuser shows up on premises (including the parking lot or other common areas)
    • Provide a picture of your abuser to your supervisor 
    • Keep all doors locked and/or explore buzz-in or coded entry options
    • Ensure no one gives out information about when your work hours start/end OR the whereabouts of your current location 
    • Change your work phone number or extension
  • Log/record days and times when your abuser shows up to your work and note the reasons they give for showing up. Ask yourself:
    • Where did they show up? In the parking lot? Across the street? At a common area such as a food truck or coffee/drink kiosk?  
    • Did they come into your place of work? Where? 
    • Did they ask to see or talk to you?  If so what, what reason did they provide? Was that reason “necessary” (eg. legitimate emergency) or something that could have waited (eg: misplaced home item) 
    • Did they threaten or harass you or your coworkers? What were the nature of the threats or harassment
  • Log/record the frequency of calls from your abuser during your work shifts and the purpose. Ask yourself:
    • Did the communication cause a fight?  
    • Was the communication necessary (eg. legitimate emergency) or could it have waited? 
    • Are they aware of your workplace’s policy regarding non-work related/personal phone calls? 
  • Report to law enforcement:
    • Provide logs/records of all harassing, threatening, and/or stalking behaviors
  • File a restraining order. Learn more about restraining orders. Once an order is filed:
    • Keep a copy of the order on your person at all times
    • Provide a copy to your supervisor 
  • Ask to keep your employee file or documents with your private information in a confidential location or ask to have private information redacted
  • Learn about your employer’s policies and plans about:
    • Leave (paid and unpaid)
    • Domestic Violence
      • Link to WI law that prevents wrongful firing
    • Sexual Harassment and Assault
      • Link to WI law that prevents wrongful firing
    • Workplace violence

Learn about your legal rights. Contact Advocates to speak with our legal advocate and learn more about legal advocacy HERE.

Digital: Your Online and Tech Safety

For some safety tools for several tech areas please visit the Digital Safety page.

 

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